This post is dedicated to one person that gets me like no other. Danielle. She is bubbly, infectiously optimistic, beautiful both inside and out, genuine, mature, and goes after what she wants in life. We have an odd friendship in that we’ve seen each other once in the past 15 months, but with every phone call I am reminded why I love her so much.
Today I’m in a good place. I stayed up until 4:30 this morning finishing up a draft of my honors thesis paper. While daunting, it is the single most important paper of my undergraduate career and a huge part of determining if I graduate with honors. Why am I killing myself? Because I’m not the type of person to half-ass something so significant. At this point, I’ve got to see it through. No excuses!
I need to receive that honors degree similar to needing an acceptance letter from the Coast Guard Academy. Even though it holds no real-world significance, I have to see it through. In high school, I killed myself applying to the Coast Guard Academy. I got in, and then decided it was absolutely not for me. Even getting in was a huge honor, and enough of an accomplishment in itself that I realized that I didn’t need to be unhappy for the next four years of my life to prove to myself I could do it. That acceptance was enough of an accomplishment. Plus, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life as a number, not a name or personality. The better part of me (according to myself) would go to waste.
A big part of the reason I didn’t end up there was because I realized I can’t and don’t want to willingly yell at younger students, because the year before upperclassmen were yelling at me. I believe in helping people learn things the right way in a friendly environment. Call me soft, but honestly, I don’t have an “angry face.” I don’t get mad. When I get thoroughly frustrated, I tend to let all the stress build up and I breakdown rather than outwardly express how I feel. Dangerous as it may be, I have yet to lose friends to hot-tempered arguments as I usually hold my tongue until I get home and vent elsewhere.
Life has been ridiculous lately. When I have lunch with a group of friends (usually on Tuesdays up at Storrs), they all sit in awe as I tell them about my day-to-day. When actually listen to myself talk about how crazy all over the place I am, I sound like a sitcom. For example, the other week I convinced my roommate to skip a class to hang out with me because it was such a beautiful day. He did, and as it turns out he had an exam that day, which he is unable to make up. Oh yeah. If you didn’t already know I live with a dude. Probably one of the best ideas ever. Chris is calm, fun, similar to me in nearly every way (salutatorian, wanted to go to the Coast Guard, likes deviled eggs, transferred from Storrs to Avery Point…) and now like a brother to me. Even though he doesn’t always pick up his beer cans or do the dishes, I’ve developed a great appreciation for the simplicity that comes with living with a guy. No catty drama, unless I bring something up. In which case I caused it essentially.
Back to why my life is ridiculous. For some reason, funny things happen to me all the time. I think as I get older, my brain is functioning less and less well. Last week I nearly blew myself up trying to light our gas grill. Chris didn’t know how and my brother wouldn’t get up and show us, so I just turned on the propane tank and lit the lighter. BAD IDEA. I burnt off the ends of my hair, all those little tiny hairs on the arm that was holding the lighter, and was covered in gross black ash. Nothing is worse than the smell of burnt hair. On Saturday, I was decorating easter eggs. I managed to drop an egg, and as I went to catch it I managed to spill an entire cup of yellow egg dye all over the counter, rug, and nice wood floors we have in my kitchen. Yeah, classy. To me, my life is hilarious. I literally wake up every morning optimistic, constantly in that right-before-the-punchline-of-a-joke-about-to-burst-out-laughing type of mood.
I’ll end with a quote from the Time Traveller’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, definitely one of my favorite books. If you’re a hopeless romantic and you want to read a really well written book (as long as you have the attention span to move through both time and space with each new chapter).
“Love the world and yourself in it, move through it as though it offers no resistance, as though the world is your natural element” pg 519
No comments:
Post a Comment